When I was a kid, I always wished I could be older!! I remember when I turned 13, I felt very old and somewhat the queen of the world or something. I don't know what exactly was going through my head. 13 is so juvenile. In fact, now that I'm significantly older than I was at 13 I actually feel younger or rather unaccomplished.

Maybe last time my vision was quite narrow.. Life ended at O levels.

But now that I've completed the A levels and adulthood is approaching,I realise that I haven't really done anything fruitful in this world. I'm not looking to start a revolution but I just feel that I haven't fulfilled my potential. I don't really what my potential is also. I'm not talking about a career. I just feel that since I'm almost 20 then I should have some form of achievement. These twenty years just passed by so quickly. I think many people my age also just live to study and get a distinction or a pass or whatever. I feel like all these grading and stuff are so pointless some times. So what if you get an A? It's not like feeding a 100 bowls of rice to a 100 starving children. So insignificant.

We've all been so fortunate and have been living a good life. When my mum was 16 she was already working a full time job, raising money for daily necessities. When I was 16 I was ice skating and dating a loser, not even earning any money and spending it like water. Ice skating is very costly btw. (Lesson fees, competition fees, ice time, skates, skating dresses etc I think I spent like 30k on my whole skating 'career'. Could've use the 30k for cancer research or prevention of animal cruelty.)

Since there's very little time left as a teen I don't think I can fulfill my 'teenage dream'. It's a little late for me. Hopefully a decade later I'd have done more.

For now, my life's purpose is empty and vacant like the black hole. So if you're still in your early/mid teens I think there's more to life than school or clubbing or smoking. Make good use of this time to do something really meaningful and not play like a stupid kid when you're already living a damn luxurious life.

I have very few months left to call myself a teen....

Labels: dream

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